She could feel the void, a never ending dark void that consumes everything, leaving her with a feeling of nothing… that strange feeling, when she feels neither happy, nor sad… it’s such an empty feeling. There’s nothing to subside her hollow soul that creeps in the shadows, away from any other human life because its emptiness is so consuming it cannot bear to pretend that everything is okay.
In truth, nothing is okay! She sees people walking around this earth each day, pretending that everything is okay, and it always will be. She sighs…Why we can’t all just admit that we are just hollow plastic dolls with a painted happy face revealing no guilt, sadness and emptiness?
At some stage, she too tried hiding it with a big fake smile, masking it as if nothing has happened, but for how long? She didn’t get an answer.
And now she has learned to play hide and seek with her only companion. It hides everywhere, this emptiness, in the closet, the cupboards and under the bed. There isn’t any getting away from it. Her nightmares seem to help fill it. They remind her of those days… they call it the past for a reason… the bygone, the defunct, really?
She doesn’t know… she’s scared, but she needs it. She needs to feel it now, she needs it to distract herself, from not everything else but, simply, from herself… She closes her eyes gently and curls herself up onto a cushion of nothingness.