Archive for the ‘Musing’ Category

Her Inner Voice

The morning sun was dancing off the fresh, green foliage giving it a glow. She leans over the balcony eagerly watching the play of sunlight and shadow. That’s life, often a carnival filled with unique colors and just like the clouds in the autumn sky, these different colors shine and sparkle for a while and then fade away.

Listening to your inner voice

Listening to your inner voice

Looking back she realizes a lot of things. She does not have an answer to most of her questions. But she knows there is nothing called waking and dreaming, real and unreal. What was real yesterday is unreal today, and what is real now will be unreal tomorrow, because tomorrow it will no longer exist.

As she watches the colors that arise and disperse, and looks at the patterns of sun and shadow which form and dissolve she notices how life unfolds from a formless source. It arises from the ocean of bliss, from the joyous swaying of love, and merges back into the space of consciousness.

Will she ever be able to see things as a vast picture composed of countless vessels filled with strange and colorful things, each more fascinating and astounding than the last? What is all this? It is nothing but the dance of your own Self, the supreme actor, says her inner voice.

 

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Moon Shadows

The near-full moon shines brightly, bathing the world in a pale unearthly gleam. The village by the lake is a totally different world in the night. Close by, the trees and the huts are covered with a white silvery sheet.

lake drenched in moonlight

The lake drenched in moonlight

All of a sudden a dark big cloud covers the moon and the darkness deepens. The unnerving silence interrupted by the sudden cry of a fox, the hoot of an owl and a rustle in the undergrowth get more intense in the dark. Darkness threw a veil over the village, the lake, the forest and the entire surrounding.

There’s a sweet fragrance in the air. I miss this fragrance often. It takes me back to my grandmother’s courtyard. The moon appears again, making its way through the heavy clouds. Once again the moonbeam falls on the lake, creating reflection in the still water and an unfamiliar magic.

Is this the place where the elves and fairies dance in the midnight? I don’t know yet, but the lake drenched in moonlight has a mystery to it – its unfamiliarity makes it even more magical.

Failing his way to Success

-The sound of the music resonated through the hall, as the little boy was called on-stage to play the guitar. He was his ever effervescent self  as he began playing his favorite tunes with ease. Everything was going alright. He was lost in his world of music… and then all of a sudden, the music faded, the earth stood still…

Behind every success is an embarrassing story

Behind every success is an embarrassing story

He stood mortified in the middle of the stage with his broken guitar string; streams of tears running down his eyes. He didn’t want to see the crowd; he ran off the stage and refused to come back.

She was seated in the audience, helplessly watching the little boy crying, unprepared to deal with the world.

A memory returned to her in that cling worthy moment. Something she had almost forgotten.

Thirty years ago, she remembered the little girl, who went up to the stage one summer evening to recite ‘The Listeners’ and it was not too late before she realized she had forgotten her lines. It was their annual school concert, where everyone was welcome, parents and one extra pass for a guest. She was very excited to be part of it. But things did not go as expected.

She stood on the stage and looked across the hall, knowing it was packed and couldn’t remember a word, except for the first line of the poem. She stumbled over her lines and her mind went completely blank, she froze. The lights were bright on her face, but all she could see was shadows of people.

The cold horror rushed through her as she tried and failed to make her panicked brain work. For a moment, her eyes got fixed on the second row where she could sense her parents pasting a smile on their face. she knew she was doing it all to impress them. She couldn’t take it any longer, and just like the little boy, she ran away, tears running down her face.

She was an adult now, with her own life and she didn’t need to be defined by that awful sense of failure. Yet some memories can never be erased.

She followed him quickly and gave him a hug. She wiped off the slick of sweat on his palms; wearing the best possible smile, just like her parents did. History often repeats itself they say, and it did happen. She felt guilty for not having a backup guitar on stage for his little boy. This embarrassment could have been avoided.

But it’s okay, she thought… behind every success is an embarrassing story, a stumble, a setback or a radical change of direction. She promised to him, this would never happen again. Never.

As she gave him a warm hug, the softened sunshine melted down from the clear autumn sky. There was a scent of nostalgia that filled her heart with happiness to always stay hopeful for the future!

The Butterfly Maiden

She was standing there all day, this caterpillar gal. For her, every day feels the same. She holds on to her barren branch, trying to make sense of a futile world.

Her nights seemed longer. Every night she would curl herself around the stem of a leaf and fall asleep gazing at the stars and dreaming of a future where she had a purpose, where her life had meaning.

As dawn breaks, she wakes up and tries again… thinking that she’s reaching nowhere closer to her goal.

She held onto nothing, allowing herself to finally let go

She held onto nothing, allowing herself to finally let go

And then there came a day when she knew that it was over. She couldn’t stand there any longer.  That night she curled herself around the stem of a leaf… and just allowed herself to let go.

Little by little, she used her outer skin to weave herself a shell; to form armor against this empty life.  And once she was enclosed in her dwindling space she allowed herself to fall apart. She held onto nothing, allowing herself to finally let go, dissolving into the quantum foam of endless possibilities.

And in the quiet and the dark of her chrysalis, something took shape.  Her hopes and dreams finally undone from their mundane life; what surfaced was a life of its own that cleaved into an exquisite form.

Then, still damp with the dew of creation, gasping for breath, she moved out of her self-imposed prison. For some time, she lay there still, to spread her wings to dry, basking in the warmth of the sun. She has now morphed into a beautiful butterfly maiden, in her elegant sapphire attire – to set her self free; ready to make her dreams come true.

Life Is a Highway

Life’s like a road that you travel on
There’s one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
Life is a highway, I wanna ride it all night long

~ Tom Cochrane

Mmm, life is a highway I wanna ride it all night long

Mmm, life is a highway I wanna ride it all night long

I love to watch animated films with my nine-year old; feels refreshing… The other day, I was watching Disney Pixar movie “Cars” in which I was fascinated by a scene, where Sally and Lightning McQueen are overlooking Route 66 and Interstate 40. Here’s what they say:

Sally: Forty years ago, that interstate down there didn’t exist.
Lightning McQueen: Really?
Sally: Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way.
Lightning McQueen: How do you mean?
Sally: Well, the road didn’t cut through the land like that interstate. It moved with the land, it rose, it fell, it curved. Cars didn’t drive on it to make great time. They drove on it to have a great time.

Their dialogues pretty much sum up our frenetic and fast paced lives and the world where we live in. We are the cars. Our lives are the roads. We can choose to take the interstate and set our lives on cruise control.

So, we are all on the highway of life – traveling at what seems like the speed of light – moving at hyper-speed and checking off our to-do list as if that is the ultimate goal in life. Although it is cliché, we fail to stop and smell the air or say a genuine ‘hello’ to the passer byes.

However, we are at the risk of missing so much that pass by us by because we travel so fast with our blinders on. We are more concerned with where we are going instead of appreciating and enjoying where we are.

There is but an alternative. We can choose to meander and explore. We can choose to take the winding and curving road and truly experience life. It may not take us directly to our destination, but perhaps we shouldn’t be as concerned with crossing the finish line so quickly. Isn’t it really the happenings along our route that make reaching our goal so much more gratifying?

I suggest we take our individual journey down a unique path – Some of us on highways while others on the back-country roads. Sometimes our paths run parallel to one another and sometimes our path intersects with that of others. We are in control of the accelerator pedal beneath our feet. We can choose to fly through life and pass by others on the interstate. Or, we can choose to take the scenic route, slow down to the speed of life, and share our road with others. We can choose to take the occasional pit stop and learn about all the other roads available to us on the map of life.

Let’s not fail to understand, life is a journey, not a destination. Slow down, check your road map, and get off the next exit. There is a winding road ahead that is ready to greet you with new experiences. Make your journey as memorable as possible.

Life is… Celebration!

It is such a wonderful concept to celebrate life with our different actions. Let’s participate in the joy of life.

Pearls of Thoughts

Motherhood has made me a better person. The statement is cliché no doubt but true! It has not only made me more sensible, motivated and a better manager, but has also helped me see the world with the eyes of a child. That’s a refreshing feeling for sure. As my little one grows up, bit by bit, every day, i could see him get so incredibly excited about everything, and so do I get the energy to participate in the joy of life. It’s fun to be around him and kids of his age.

Celebrating life Celebrating life

For kids the word celebration doesn’t mean ‘grandeur’ but it means life itself! Even eating a whole bunch of different fruits can be like celebrating every piece of the fruit they eat. I’ve learnt over the years, it is such a wonderful concept to celebrate life with our different actions. That is what life…

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That never was…

Her story…

She started coming a little late to office on purpose, so he could see her walk in unapologetically. Though she’d never missed greeting all her colleagues at work, she couldn’t help stealing a glance at him several times a day to see if he’d reciprocated… and when she felt he did, she’d wear a lost look, focusing on her work or not focusing on anything, just exploring the depths of everything.

She seems to move on

She seems to move on

She had known him for some time, but she felt connected to him as if she knew him ages before, and maybe she did … but she couldn’t recall. She noticed a spark every time their eyes met, there’s a smile at the corner of their lips when they spoke.

She felt good any time she spoke to him, whether casually chatting up on office tea session or discussing an important assignment. His sober look, with touches of melancholy made her more curious.

One day, she caught him writing a poem on love during recess, which he quickly said he wrote simply because it felt romantic. “The starting was the most fun though the last stanza never rhymed to my dismay,” he said wearing a smile, shielding something from her.

When loneliness engulfed her, a quiet conversation with him, interspersed with laughter of old stories, a discussion on old English novels and classic cinema, magically lifted up her spirit.

Of course she knew she was not in love… but the more she thought about him, it surely felt something like that – as if she was in the twilight zone.

And then came the awaited evening, when they were having some wine at a birthday dinner, she got an sms. Strangely, it was him. “I think you look stunning!”

The noisy smiles around her seemed blur for a moment. The mood of the evening and the alcohol must have given him the wings to send her a message, she thought.

Before she could reply, he came forward and asked her if she wanted to have dinner next week.

Her face lit up immediately, she wanted to tell him, she was waiting for this perfect moment. but she tried to conserve that feeling, holding it gently in her palm. She hesitantly nodded and smiled while he sent her something nice on sms again to seal the conversation for the night.

—————-

It was a Tuesday night and it was incessantly raining. They drove down to the poolside bistro that looked almost empty. They both looked a little confused, didn’t know what to speak.

They ordered some food and coffee in awkward silence as the waiter looked at them like he had an opinion.

Once they were chatting, she could feel he looked interested and observant; properly listening as she droned on…

Soon they had many things to talk… the places they’d been to,  of everything that was happening in the world at that moment, all the people eating food, holding hands, cosmos, death, making love and of everyday things… the more they talk, she felt  a deeper and spiritual connection.

They kept sitting on the couch that felt like an improvised stage in the corner of the room. Then he took her hand, for the first time.

Some moments of togetherness was like knowing him for a lifetime!  Her heart was burning in his wrists and palms. His hand was perfectly warm, so magical that it was unbearable. When his eyes met hers, she felt her heartbeat everywhere, even on her toes.

But she slowly closed her eyes…

She asked herself again, what exactly she wanted from life… she’d been curious, she wanted to feel something… but they knew they were not meant for each other…

————–

Never did they seek the story left untold – the tale with an abrupt end.

Seasons passed by… till they rediscovered themselves on social media. It was not the same…

They moved on, their paths were different, and they tried making peace with life, away from each other, but in their own solitary world.

The entr’acte…