A Betrayal Called Friendship!!!

My niece looked really upset. When I asked her what’s wrong, with a little hesitation she laments, “I feel betrayed by a close friend.” May be I was not prepared for her blunt reply and stood silent for a few seconds… helpless. I couldn’t say anything else… or rather didn’t know how to console her or to tell her it’s okay to move on. I thought all of these would be so silly!

Betrayal is a part of life though it’s never easy to deal with it, especially if the person concerned is a dear friend. My niece’s reaction saddened me, but I knew she is mature enough to deal with this herself and move on eventually.

Betrayal is a part of life though it’s never easy to deal with it

Betrayal is a part of life though it’s never easy to deal with it

Even though we keep telling ourselves ‘life is beautiful’ and that ‘we are so happy’ we know in our deepest of consciousness that may not be the reality. When we are betrayed by a close friend, a sibling or spouse for reasons, whatsoever, all hell breaks loose. Most of us I know have experienced some sort of betrayal in life. For some it may have been once, for others it more than that. For some it may be very dramatic, for some others, it may be quite modest – depends on the situation and temperament, but it’s certainly part of the cycle.

While pondering helplessly over my niece’s grief, suddenly some thoughts of betrayal flashed through my mind. No, I certainly didn’t deserve those moments – as I did no harm to those people. Yes, I too had this feeling of betrayal from people I really trusted. Luckily, very few they are in number, but yes, they did what I least expected from them.

I shared this thought with my niece that I too at some point in my life felt a severe breach of trust. Initially, the reaction is that of hurt and anger. I wanted to give back what I felt … And then? I had self doubt. Angry at myself for having trusted someone like this! But it doesn’t help actually. For me, I started losing focus and ended up feeling depressed. And then its about acceptance!

The easiest way is to move on… and we all do that with the passage of time, but it’s not easy actually… because some situations leave a scar!

To all my friends out there (whom I genuinely call friends) I just have one word of advice. If you wish to break off from a dear friend – whose role in your life you feel is over – do it with dignity, not with cowardice. Tell your friend clearly why you need to part ways. Indifference to me is a form of weakness – avoiding and ignoring contacts make one a quitter. At least for the sake of the good old times – when that friend’s company meant everything, in whom you thought you found a Soulmate or somebody whom you perceived could be a friend for life – and you believe your friendship has to end, do have the guts to say ‘Goodbye’ gracefully.

And KB, this one is for you to really feel better and move on:

If I can sleep forever, I hope to see you in my dreams.
I was happy filling my mind with memories.
Memories I will keep forever.
Memories I will cherish.



2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by KAKOLI on June 16, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Thanks so much for your supportive words. You think so differently. I always thought i could be like you – admire your bold approach. you can express all these in writing. this is one thing most of us cannot. thanks again and god bless.


  2. Posted by Sumita Bhat on June 16, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    A pretty interesting post. this is true. every people suffer some kind of betrayal. when it happens, we feel the world has come to an end but then we have to carry on with our lives. that is all about life.


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